Of babies (readers discretion is advised, haha!)
Monday, June 30th, 2008 : 2:07 pm
I know, I know, it has been 10 days since the last update. Yes, yes, no excuse. This is the thing about real life. You do and do things suddenly 10 days have passed and people have started tagging your blog as dead *matila visitors menurun! nanges!
Anyway, quite a bit of things happened in the last 10 days. My friend Lala finally popped out a baby, about 2 weeks earlier than expected. I told her the baby gonna come in June, but no, no doctor said July, she said. Sekarang sapa yang betul? Aku jugak kan? Mrase tak prepare. ops! *matila carutan!
Have yet to see baby Arissa (that’s the baby’s name by the way) as Lala is holed up at her kampung recuperating. Although from the sound of her voice when she called me last Saturday, she doesn’t seem to be in pantang pon, lagi suara ala-ala ceria ada. Betol ke ko ni pantang nok?! ops!
Which brings me to the topic of kids.
I know most of my friends are hitting 30 this year, but what’s with the proliferation of profile pictures in Facebook/Friendster/YM/what-have-yous featuring their babies and kids?! Is this a conspiracy by the society to pressure me, the ever fabulous and bloody marvelous singleton, to become a breeder and hence… breed?! Gahh!! As a gay man, can’t think of self ever come in contact with a va-jay-jay as it looks rather gross and… cave-like (does this make sense?) *matila aku kene sembelih dengan pompuan2 yang bace blog nie!!
A confession: as much as I had thoughts - on a few rare occasions that involved lots of self-pity while listening to sad songs from the 90’s - of procreating with a woman, it’s not something that I ever think of seriously. To paraphrase what I told a friend, having a kid is expensive (Yes, I’m that stingy and selfish) Have you guys looked at the price of baby’s tote bag lately? Or the price of baby cot, pram, clothes, bottles? This doesn’t include things for the mother such as breast pump, and God knows what else. To top it all up, giving birth itself costs a lot of money!
But let’s be honest with myself and also with you guys here. Cost is not the real issue. Same goes for getting the woman, which I don’t think is a real issue either. I mean, there’s bound to be someone desperate enough to marry a pondan kan? It’s not like it never happened anyway. So yeah, it’s all back to the reason above: the va-jay-jay just creeps the hell out of me. Two holes and there’s a pleasure center called clit-something as well?! And it can actually fart?! I’ll pass.
Eh, ada kumpulan pompuan marah berarak ke arah aku ke?
*larikkkkkk!!!
June 30th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
hahahahahaha you funny.
AND you are the second man I know who’s confessed to such ‘dislike’, to put it mildly. i was telling him about a gay couple i know who had a baby with their mutual lesbian girl friends.
“so one of the guys had to DO it with one of the girls?” he asked.
“I guess.”
“Ewwwwww!”
*though actually, we later decided that it must have been IVF..
**btw no baby pics on my facebook profile no sirree
July 1st, 2008 at 12:01 am
va-jay-jay katanya.. mak suka mak suka *tepok tangan*
mak pon disgusted kat va-jay-jay jugak kaedahnya.. kenapa lah aku camni ekk? kenapalah sausage mcmuffin jugakkkkk yang aku suka? *ops matilah metaphor
tapi mak ade gak terfikir sampai bila jadi gini? ko rasa boleh tak hipnosis membantu mak jadi penggemar va-jay-jay? *opss larikk!!
July 1st, 2008 at 11:51 pm
va-jay-jays are unique you know. no two are alike.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:00 am
k,
it just doesn’t look appealing to me, haha!
crisis,
sausage mcmuffin tu flat nok. motif ko suke bende flat plak?! berubah arah kah? ops! *matila hipnosis berkesan, haha!
aish,
you know that’s not helping at all, right?
July 4th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
hmmm… but i like babies… they are cute~~~
i want to get myself one later.
but of course i’ll hire someone for the poops cleaning part.
and love when the baby is all clean and poop-free.
July 6th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Crisis, ko dah kenapa? mcmuffin tu kan bentuk burger. ke ko cakap sausage mcmuffin tu sebagai jubur? ops matila ko menutuh. I tot u love to get laid and arse wide open with dick shoving up and down?
ke ko tak penah pegi mcD?
larikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
July 6th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Tapi I nak baby woh! Imagine Burberry! Baby Gap! Zara Kids!
July 6th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
musang,
newsflash honey, babies are rarely clean and poop-free. they are poop machines! you bath and cloth them and 5 min later they poop! (this comes from experience)
bedah,
aiyo, mak pekop molot! ops! *matila gusti!
paul,
i know! those baby clothes are so adorable! a couple of weeks ago my friend and i went to buy baby presents for my friend lala and we found this very cute baby clothes that say “i love mommy” and “i love daddy”.
i actually squealed inside the shop. needless to say, a pair of that is going to baby arissa.
July 10th, 2008 at 1:25 am
aiyooo.. hanjeng sangats ko bedah. McDonalds Section 3 Shah Alam tuh dah macam rumah kedua mak tau! actually mak nak guna metaphor untuk menggambarkan kegemaran mak lebih ke arah alat sulit lelaki, tapi it’s either ko tak paham or mak yang salah kasi metaphor. let me rephrase that: I LOVE SAUSAGES! kalau ko tak faham jugak mrasa mak carut2kan ko.